The problem:

I have been putting myself in an arduous routine. It makes me feel unstable and insufficient. Next month, I will be integrating into it two more exigences, two more disciplines to study.

Since I have started it, I am feeling pressed.

For example, now I am wondering if I will be able to put my best on these two subjects. Putting my best means try harder, when I am tired and insecure.

It is not easy to manage it.

My strategy to cope with it:

I have been thinking about what it will cost me and for so long. Stablishing it, I could determinate that it is a temporary condition. It will require from me 2 or 3 years.

And I always can rethink it, by setting new measurable goals.

I still pondering how I can deal with the hard aspects of it, with the stress that it is causing me. I shouldn't stop to do the fun activities of my routine.

And yes, I need to stop of attempting myself into unnecessary and stressful paths, being less insistent.

Also, I need to do it having compassion for myself.



Our perception of time can be a huge source of suffering. The idea and the present thoughts attempting to the urges of our lack of control over it, it also can be terrifying.

Time has become our personal commodity, and it implies directly in our own worth.

Usually, we feel anguished about the notion of wasting time, and about an inefficient daily routine. Even if it is an abstract idea or worst an social convention that we have been insisting in pursue.

Rather than think in this restricted form, we should be thinking about the necessary time to ourselves respond to the challenges of our lives. Instead of continuously struggle with the perception of time wasted, we should reflect on the necessary path, about the necessary amount of time to accomplish what we want, and it presumes time lost as well.

Our disconformity about the current time is also leading ourselves into our future achievements, our time wasted is part of our accomplishments.



One feeling
between many feelings.

When we
feel it,

when we can
choose it,

it change





Nowadays, we want to accomplish our desires immediately. The immediate aspect of it is a result of our lives.

Usually, we are living a very restricted life. It is hard to find out a connection with the world, the society, the people, etc.

Then, we begin to truly believe that there are only a few ways to establish a value, a connection. Between these feel possibilities of connection resides the immediatism.


Because we think it is the only way. Because we assume that only by achieving the social demands we will feel that we are enough to have a connection, a valued life.

We live a life where there are a few amount of characteristics that are esteemed.

For us to become a legit member of the world, require from us to have been succeeding these few aspects. But it creates a huge lack of connection into our lives. Perform these aspects demands time, information and stability, when stability demands a connection with the world.

The immediatism composes our desperate to live a plenty life, to live an entire life. A life-based in our potential.



I was visiting the Alexandra Instagram when I've seen the topic: "10 facts about me." Then, I decide to answer it.

1. I usually think about all the situations and about all circumstances of some specific events, repeated times. In certain circumstances, it can be useful, but generally, it is overwhelming.

2. My three favorite tv shows are: "In Treatment (HBO)", "Tell Me You Love Me (HBO)" and, "House M.D. (FOX)"

3. All the time, I am thinking about how to improve myself, how to be a better person.

4. I usually pay much attention when people are giving me an advice.

5. I rather listen to an entire album than its separate songs.

6. My favorite book is: "Malone Dies" by Samuel Beckett.

7. I want to become a lawyer.

8. I am very worried about the people around me. I feel great when I can be helpful to them.

9. Every day, I read 3 different newspapers and once for a week, I read 3 magazines. I crave for information.

10. My 3 favorite subjects are: "Buddhism", "Psychology", and "Philosophy"



It is a common practice, labeling our experiences. We label it because we want to avoid it and also because we need a change in our behavior.

But to modify the way we behave, we need to analyze it, instead of categorizing it.

When we classify it, we usually do not remember of the positive aspects that it has brought to us. When we are facing difficult times, it is a possibility to develop trust, empathy, and connection with people.

It is not a question of controlling it.



Emptiness happens
when we feel disappointed with ourselves.




Usually, we incentive ourselves to do more and more. To think more about the results instead of thinking more about our possibilities. We are constantly exceeding our limits, in certain circumstances, we even do not notice it.

Our society values it, it has become a personal quality.

We do more and more, rather than invest in our friendships/relationships.

The constant surpassing of our limits turn us anxious, and the increasing amount of it has consequences. We do not know when we should stop it. We do not know how to stop it.

Now, we feel alert all the time. We are incapable of decelerating our minds.



When we thought about friendships/relationships, we automatically think about natural moments of happy, when it can be exactly the opposite of it.

Naively, relationships are often portrayed as uncomplicated, or spontaneous. When, in general, it is complex. It usually requires much energy from us. It is also a frequent cause of emotional instability, misunderstands and anguish.

In our society the development of intimacy is complicated, it needs time, efforts and patience. It is unpredictable, almost accidentally.

Friendships/relationships, in general, are uncommon.

The sadness and disappointments involved in it can make us feel hopeless or can establish an avoidance about developing it.

Rejection or the lacks of compatibility are hard to deal, but we need to play an ambiguous role in this case. We should not avoid it at any cost because it can take much more from us, we can feel unhappy or isolated.

We can always improve our abilities to deal with people, improving our own knowledge about ourselves.

By my own experience, I believe that friendships/relationships are unexpected, it is also a common cause of suffering.

It is not exactly about the people and the qualities that we value, it is more about respect and the people who stay around us.

We usually, idealize these themes, but our lives show different aspects of it. I have been noticing in myself an increase in the resistance of starting new friendships/relationships.



One of the most extraordinary abilities that we need to develop is our capability to stay focused. Focus cannot be confused with repetition or even with insistence. The ability of focusing is analogue to the capacity of being aware of our needs.

Having focus means to be able of extract pleaser and the meaning from our daily activities. Pleaser and meaning are two central aspects of our mental health.

Focusing is the notion of switching between the multiplicity of our interests to supply our demands.

When we attach to one, or to a few amount of activities, inevitable, we will create a dependency or an obsessive behaviour. Then, we need to be aware to see the possibilities of each of our interactions.

If we insistently repeat the same behaviour, soon we will feel depressed and impotent.

We need to increase our ability to provide ourselves with multiple sources of pleaser and meaning and more important, we need to understand the limitations of each one of them.




Life is about measures,
it means exactly new experiences, accumulating it.

Experiences can establish paths
and then, comparisons and relations.

Life is the process of trying different solutions.
Of relating knowledge.

It is the condition of have been collected enough experiences,
to be able of managing itself.



I know, all the sadness
and all my disappointments

came from the pressure,
from the pressure of becoming a better person.

I feel every day an improvement,
every day closer to my values.


Gradually, we learn
to anticipate the future,

creating a link between our actions,
possibilities, and efforts.

We understand and accept
the distance surrounding us.

We start to respect it,
to respect ourselves.



I need you to stop,

to stop the echoes
of my own voice,

to stop it inside my mind.

With you, I can express myself,
without arguing me.

I need you.



I am grateful every day for the people who make me feel real,
feeling real experiences.

I am grateful every day because it makes me feel alive.
It makes me breathe.


Our excessive manner
of characterizing the world,

our experiences
and people,

are limiting
our perceptions.



We can not avoid pain,
because we can not partially experience life.

Every situation is composed
of several aspects.

If we feel happy receiving a call,
when it ends, we will feel sad.

None of our experiences are entirely or complete,
pain is always there.

It is beautiful,
partially beautiful.


These are my favorites.



We only lose
hope one time.

When it occurs,
it gives us experience.

Then, we become
a new person.

A new person having new experiences,
believing again.


The walls,

It is 6:00 am,
it is rainy.

I need to fill
the day.

But, all the possibilities
are absurd options.

It is 6:01
and I need to fill the day.



I usually do not
use metaphors.

Maybe, our lives are composed
by a battle.

It does not involve

It is a dispute between the uncertainties of life
and the time.

It is not related to a winner,
as well.

It is about to let the time overcome our uncertainties,
having patience.



All my disappointments
are welcome.

It makes me



When we feel tired,

Even if we can not
interrupt our current activities,

it is reducing our efficiency.
When it occurs, it is time

to pressure less,
and understand more,

it is time to be doing it
for ourselves.



Nowadays is easy
to invert the social parameters

and start to value
the ordinary life.

It is hard to recognize
that the people around us

make mistakes
or to recognize their insufficiencies.


Behind the images,
behind the social status,

behind the material goods,
behind the politics,

behind the activities,
behind the pleasure,

behind the environment,
and the behaviors,

behind the feelings,
and the emotions,

behind and between it all
are ourselves.



is see possibilities.

is create our environment.

It is when we are capable
to express ourselves.

Or when we are able
to ask, questioning.

is see a path.



With time,
we feel less accessible.

And our disappointments
become more evident.

Time is our way
to calculate our lack of happiness.

Our dreams, yes, our dreams,
are only to be able to cope with reality.



Today, I got very disappointed with a person.

When it happens, we feel sad, worthless, and angry. It is depressing. When we become frustrated with an individual, we want to stay isolated, we want to not speak with someone else.

It is common to feel hopeless about people.

If we think deeply about it, we can also see it as an opportunity. We can see it as an opportunity to express our egoism.

Egoism is not a valuable characteristic in our society, then, we avoid to show it. We also avoid to even consider it. To us give is always the path, we usually give more, and more. We have been giving for so much. Until we feel empty about it.

When people disappoint us, we can feel free. It can be a chance to establish limits, to think about us. To stop to idealize people and their acts. We can feel free about being less naive.

We need to define our personal criteria about giving, about to feel affection and esteem about people. When we express our egoism we can concentrate on ourselves, we can focus on the important aspects of our life. On the acts of people.

Express our egoism, it is an opportunity of rethink our behavior.

I am nothing talking about being vengeful, I am talking about me, or you. About our priorities, about what we want.

What we want?




You are you.
I am I.

You have your life,
and I have mine.

Both of us are in silence.
Both of us stay in silence.



One of my preferred activities is visiting coffee shops, it is one of my favorites.



When we think about a structural change in our lives, we usually think about punctual modifications in our routine, but it has low effectivity.

Particular changes have low effectivity because it will be in conflict with our behavior. We will struggle to put it in practice. To put it into our routine.

Our behavior has been guiding by an agenda, and it will be conflicting with new ways to act.

We need to develop a new mindset, recognizing the inefficiencies of our way to behave. Only a new lifestyle can improve our lives. Only when we internalize and accept it.

Think about it now, "What I want to change?" The first step is: "How can I turn it, in all whole new lifestyle?"



Life is the process of exhaustion of our bodies,
of our thoughts.

Life is the process of exhaustion of our wishes,
of me wanting you.

Life is the process of exhaustion of our belongs,
of all my objects.

Life is the process of exhaustion of our attachments,
of our feelings and emotions.

Life is the process of exhaustion of ourselves,
of every situation.

Life becomes nothing,
to then, it becomes beautiful.



Our culture reinforces our immediatism. We have more information, more responsibility, and more autonomy. All these aspects make us need more attention.

We need more attention because we feel more in control of our life. The idea of having an excessive control of our lives, turn ourselves more anxious.

When we feel anxiety, we tend to reduce it by the velocity of what we are answered.

In the present moment, we need to deal with hundreds of expectations, thoughts, and obligations. We need to cope with it even when we do not have any support. Even when we need care.

Then, immediatism can represent a difficult aspect of our routine, of the life in our society.

Have conscious about it, can at least prevent us of act impulsively. It can give more reliability for our actions and wishes.



It is easy to us to adopt an idealized posture about what we are expecting in determined situations. Usually, we expect what we want to expect. But, we should expect for measurable circumstances.

We have developed the habit of wait the conditions change.

Then, we wait for it, by undetermined time. No matter how long it will last or what it will require from us.

Instead of doing it, we should learn to interpret the reality, asking ourselves, "What can I expect from the determined event? What can I expect from it?"

Probably, expect for a change only will take our time and our sanity.
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